How to Talk to Your Man about His Style

October 29, 2010

When it comes to his personal style,

You would think that a simple comment about jeans wouldn’t be the cause of an afternoon of tension and arguments amongst a happy couple. Oh but it could be! I once had a boyfriend tell me out of the blue that my jeans were not that flattering and I needed to get sexier ones. Ouch! My immediate reaction to this was shock, defensiveness and some justified anger. I could not believe someone would make a comment about my clothes, without any cushiony prelude. Afterwards, he tried to save himself from the obvious ‘foot in mouth situation’ with compliments and explanations. But the dirt was dug. “This must mean that I am not sexy as I am and what I look like matters more than who I am and so on,” says the mind. The truth is that was not the case. It’s just how he said it, that made it sound like a criticism more than an encouraging suggestion to make a wardrobe adjustment. At the end of the day, we ended up going shopping and he bought me a pair of jeans, that remain my favorite pair to date. Yeah, in the end, I scored, however, I would have traded the new addition to my closet for a more friendly assessment of my fashion sense (sans the drama). In reflecting on this day, I realized that if clothing comments are touchy, so must be anything having to do with another person’s way of presenting themselves externally, including body grooming.

it’s all about HOW you say it.

Recently, I was lucky enough to meet Kim Seltzer, an experienced elite dating coach and image consult. She said she runs into situations like this all the time in her line of work. I got some great tips from her and am now sharing them with YOU.

In our video interview, Kim gives the low-down on how to get your significant other to enhance his/her look in a loving and drama free way. She states that sexy is about feeling confident in yourself and helping your partner do the same. It’s not about the perfect body or hair. It’s about putting yourself together in the way that is most flattering for you. The truth is, sometimes we all could use a little bit of nudging in this department.

In our interview, Kim talks about 3 different personality types in men and how learning about who you are dealing with can help determine how you communicate your needs to that person. She also gives away common ‘mistakes’ women make that will be sure to drive your partner in the opposite direction from where you’d like him to go.




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